Post by Buzz Lightyear on Nov 28, 2003 3:15:57 GMT -5
((Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is a trademark of Disney and Pixar.
Chunky Monkey is a Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor))
*OK this is demented. I was reading a Dr. Suess book to my cousin in a Zurg voice and I got this idea. What if Zurg had to read a story to little children?*
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Story Time With Zurg.
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The Evil Emperor Zurg was pushed into view of the camera by some stage people, and then pushed into a chair. "Must I really do this?" The Evil Emperor sighed.
"Yes it will be great publicity for your new empire." the director said. He threw Zurg a story book. "Just read that and everything will be fine." the director got behind the camera, "And action!!" they started filming.
"What in the.." Zurg read the title. "Chunky Monkey in Pixie Land?" this book was defiantly not Evil Emperor material. "You have got to be kidding me! Im not going to read this mindless dribble! Where's the violence? And I bet the bad guy doesn't win either." Zurg tossed the book out of view. "Im not reading that!'' he crossed his arms.
"Evil Emperor Zurg, this is a children's show, just read the book. The camera is rolling so, smile." the director said friendly.
"Fine, fine! Whatever!" Zurg picked up the book and opened it. "Greetings children I am the Evil Emperor Zurg and I will be your host for the show today. And if any of you have a problem with that then good!!" Zurg said lashing out as the camera angerly leaning out of his chair. "Take it up with my lawyer!" the director gave him a glance to clam down. "Yes, well where were we? Ah yes I was about to read you the book "Chunky Monkey in Pixie Land,''' Zurg put on his reading glasses, "Now this is a tale about a mean little monkey who deprives the evil doer from accomplishing his dreams. All he ever wanted was to take over Pixie Land and enslave the population. Is that too much to ask!? Come on be honest!? And then the stupid monkey came along and he destroyed the evil guys dreams! It's not fair I tell you!!" Zurg ranted and raved.
"Ah hem!" the director tapped his foot, "Just read the book Zurg"
Zurg looked up, "Oh yes of course right." Zurg cleared his throat and began to read the story, "Once upon a time there lived a monkey named Chunky. He was a poor little monkey who lived in Pixie Land. One day an evil giant came to town. Whoo hoo! Go evil!" Zurg cheered, "Yes well anyways, the evil giant decided to take over Pixie Land. The evil giant was smart and cunning, he could beat up Chunky Monkey if he wanted to."
"Zurg please follow the story," the director said.
"Why whatever do you mean? I am following the story it says those exact words right here on this page." Zurg said stabbing a clawed finger into the book.
"No they're not."
"Yes they are!" Zurg argued.
"Yeah well show me then." the director said.
"Well umm." Zurg quickly got out a pen, and scribbled in his own words, he showed them to the camera. "See its all here clear as day." the director sighed and motioned Zurg to continue on. "The giant had a clever and ingeniously evil plan to take over Pixie Land. He was going to send his army of darkness out to wreck havoc upon the land!" Zurg laughed evilly. ''Then Chunky Monkey and his bag of pixie dust arrived," Zurg read the ending to the story and didn't like it, "Oh my that can't happen this is not going to be a good story, so I'll just change a few words." He got out his pen again.
"Zurg, no more word changing, I got that book on loan and you've already ruined it. It's gonna cost me five bucks to cover the damage fees!" the director said.
"But you don't expect that I, the Evil Emperor Zurg, read such a terrible thing do you?" the director shook his head. "Oh fine then!! I'll read it with the terrible, sad, unpleasant ending." Zurg continued. "Chunky Monkey then turned the giant into a mouse and he was banished from the land never to be heard from again." A tear ran down from his eye socket in his helmet. "That was the saddest ending I have ever read." He continued on with the rest of the story, "They threw a big party in honor for the fend Chucky Monkey. A party to honor savagery, and inhumanity." Zurg continued on adding in his won words and opinions. Zurg closed the book. "Well there you have it kiddies, another pitiful story where good always triumphs. Who wrote this senseless dribble? Buzz Lightyear?" Zurg looked at the author and sure enough that's exacticaly who wrote it. "CURSE YOU BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!" Zurg threw the book on the ground and began stomping on it.
"Roll credits! Roll credits!" the director yelled. The credits went up as you see Zurg in the background ripping the pages from the book.
"Next time Im reading one of my books! And it will be the greatest book ever read on televison!" Zurg screamed as he ripped the book up some more. "It will have violence, and evil will win for once!! Do you hear me EVIL RULES!!" Zurg screamed as the show cut out.
THE END.
*See it didn't make sense, but who says I ever make sense? Its just stickily for entertainment, and cheap laughs*
This was done like 2 years ago that's why it sucks
.
Chunky Monkey is a Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor))
*OK this is demented. I was reading a Dr. Suess book to my cousin in a Zurg voice and I got this idea. What if Zurg had to read a story to little children?*
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Story Time With Zurg.
_____________________________________________________________
The Evil Emperor Zurg was pushed into view of the camera by some stage people, and then pushed into a chair. "Must I really do this?" The Evil Emperor sighed.
"Yes it will be great publicity for your new empire." the director said. He threw Zurg a story book. "Just read that and everything will be fine." the director got behind the camera, "And action!!" they started filming.
"What in the.." Zurg read the title. "Chunky Monkey in Pixie Land?" this book was defiantly not Evil Emperor material. "You have got to be kidding me! Im not going to read this mindless dribble! Where's the violence? And I bet the bad guy doesn't win either." Zurg tossed the book out of view. "Im not reading that!'' he crossed his arms.
"Evil Emperor Zurg, this is a children's show, just read the book. The camera is rolling so, smile." the director said friendly.
"Fine, fine! Whatever!" Zurg picked up the book and opened it. "Greetings children I am the Evil Emperor Zurg and I will be your host for the show today. And if any of you have a problem with that then good!!" Zurg said lashing out as the camera angerly leaning out of his chair. "Take it up with my lawyer!" the director gave him a glance to clam down. "Yes, well where were we? Ah yes I was about to read you the book "Chunky Monkey in Pixie Land,''' Zurg put on his reading glasses, "Now this is a tale about a mean little monkey who deprives the evil doer from accomplishing his dreams. All he ever wanted was to take over Pixie Land and enslave the population. Is that too much to ask!? Come on be honest!? And then the stupid monkey came along and he destroyed the evil guys dreams! It's not fair I tell you!!" Zurg ranted and raved.
"Ah hem!" the director tapped his foot, "Just read the book Zurg"
Zurg looked up, "Oh yes of course right." Zurg cleared his throat and began to read the story, "Once upon a time there lived a monkey named Chunky. He was a poor little monkey who lived in Pixie Land. One day an evil giant came to town. Whoo hoo! Go evil!" Zurg cheered, "Yes well anyways, the evil giant decided to take over Pixie Land. The evil giant was smart and cunning, he could beat up Chunky Monkey if he wanted to."
"Zurg please follow the story," the director said.
"Why whatever do you mean? I am following the story it says those exact words right here on this page." Zurg said stabbing a clawed finger into the book.
"No they're not."
"Yes they are!" Zurg argued.
"Yeah well show me then." the director said.
"Well umm." Zurg quickly got out a pen, and scribbled in his own words, he showed them to the camera. "See its all here clear as day." the director sighed and motioned Zurg to continue on. "The giant had a clever and ingeniously evil plan to take over Pixie Land. He was going to send his army of darkness out to wreck havoc upon the land!" Zurg laughed evilly. ''Then Chunky Monkey and his bag of pixie dust arrived," Zurg read the ending to the story and didn't like it, "Oh my that can't happen this is not going to be a good story, so I'll just change a few words." He got out his pen again.
"Zurg, no more word changing, I got that book on loan and you've already ruined it. It's gonna cost me five bucks to cover the damage fees!" the director said.
"But you don't expect that I, the Evil Emperor Zurg, read such a terrible thing do you?" the director shook his head. "Oh fine then!! I'll read it with the terrible, sad, unpleasant ending." Zurg continued. "Chunky Monkey then turned the giant into a mouse and he was banished from the land never to be heard from again." A tear ran down from his eye socket in his helmet. "That was the saddest ending I have ever read." He continued on with the rest of the story, "They threw a big party in honor for the fend Chucky Monkey. A party to honor savagery, and inhumanity." Zurg continued on adding in his won words and opinions. Zurg closed the book. "Well there you have it kiddies, another pitiful story where good always triumphs. Who wrote this senseless dribble? Buzz Lightyear?" Zurg looked at the author and sure enough that's exacticaly who wrote it. "CURSE YOU BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!" Zurg threw the book on the ground and began stomping on it.
"Roll credits! Roll credits!" the director yelled. The credits went up as you see Zurg in the background ripping the pages from the book.
"Next time Im reading one of my books! And it will be the greatest book ever read on televison!" Zurg screamed as he ripped the book up some more. "It will have violence, and evil will win for once!! Do you hear me EVIL RULES!!" Zurg screamed as the show cut out.
THE END.
*See it didn't make sense, but who says I ever make sense? Its just stickily for entertainment, and cheap laughs*
This was done like 2 years ago that's why it sucks
.