Post by Buzz Lightyear on Nov 29, 2003 2:49:58 GMT -5
(This is a spin off of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Mr. Rogers is a
trademark of the PBS broadcast network, and WTTW Chanel 11 Chicago.
Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is a trademark of Disney and Pixar.)
_____________________________________________________
Mr. Zurg's Neighborhood.
The theme song music for the beloved children's show plays as we zoom
into Mr. Roger's house, but who comes through the door is not the
beloved old man that we grew up with, but the Evil Emperor Zurg.
"I never wanted to have a neighbor, just like you. I never what to
live in a neighborhood with you, so.
Let's make the worst of this beautifully evil day, since were forced to
be put together we might as well say...
Please don't be mine, I'm begging you not to be mine, don't you EVER
be my neighbor!" Zurg sang the song, adding his own "special" twist
to it.
"Hello kiddies, I know you were expecting Mr. Rogers, but he called
in sick today. But don't worry, Mr. Zurg is here. I'm sure we'll have
loads of fun." he cringed at the thought of having fun, "Oh gosh no."
Zurg walked over the closet where Mr. Rogers kept his sweaters. He
opened it and looked at them, "Eww yuck! They don't expect me to wear
these do they?" he closed the closet disgusted, "I don't think so,
that would be beneath me. My emperor robes are just fine." he turned
around to the camera and clasped his hands together nicely, "Sorry,
no tacky sweaters today kiddies. Your going to see high quality new-
tech fashion on this show. Oh don't moan at me!" Zurg walked on into
the kitchen like the script said to do so he could feed the fish and
play with the little figurines on make-believe land. The fish tank
for this episode wasn't filled with friendly little gold fish, but
with man eating parana.
"Lets feed Mr. Zurg's pets shall we?" Zurg lifted a big ham over the
fish tank and dropped it in. The paranas started swirling around in
the tank splashing water everywhere, "Aren't they just lovely?" He
moved on and took the little toys off the shelve and set them on the
kitchen table. "Now what are these stupid things?" he took one clawed
hand and whipped them clear off the table, they crashed to the
floor. "Don't even shoot real lasers for crying out loud."
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, "Now who in the great
galaxies is that!" Zurg said getting up from the table and marching
angerly to the front door, "Don't they know I'm trying to make a show
here!?"
"Zurg," the director called from off camera, "It's Mr. McGrubby, the
mail man."
"Oh yes! Mr. McGrubby!" Zurg said, "How could I forget. Silly me."
Zurg opened the door and there was a grub in Mr. McFealies mail man
uniform and glasses, he even had a fake little white mustache, "Why
look who came to visit kiddies, it's Mr. McGrubby. He must have a
special package for us today."
"Speedy delivery, speedy delivery!" the little grub said as he handed
Zurg a video tape.
"Well not speedy enough! You were supposed to be here over two
minuets ago!" Zurg took out his ray gun and fired at the grub. It ran
out of the door screaming, "Can you believe that? Two minuets! What's
with the postal system these days?" he shook his head
disappointedly. "Let that be a very important lesson to you kids,
never send anything via the US mail," he held the tape in his
hand, "Let's watch the tape shall we?" he popped the tape into the
picture -picture screen. The video played, it was a tape of Zurg
going to an ammunition factory.
"Hello littel children today we are going to learn about bombs and
other high explosives. Can you show us around?" he asked the person
in charge of the place.
"Why sure Mr. Zurg, here we make all kinds of nuclear weapons for the
government and anyone else with a couple extra millions to spend."
the little guy who was in charge said. And the tape went on like this
and showed Zurg how to make weapons and what could be done with them,
like blow up little countries.
"Fascinating!" Zurg said happily, "Wrap mine up and send it to the
land of make-believe!" Zurg ordered. The tape turned off.
"Well wasn't that fun? Now it's time to travel to the land of make-
believe, where is that blasted trolley?" Zurg got his answer as
Trolley chugged down the tracks, Zurg looked at it oddly. He picked
Trolley up off the tracks and held it to his face, "Now how do they
expect ME to fit inside this dinky thing?" Zurg questioned puzzled.
Zurg set Trolley back down and it tooted and rolled on, "Now don't
you toot at me..." Zurg all of a sudden arrived in the land of make-
believe as Trolley chugged through the tunnel. Zurg looked around
confused, "Now how did I.. no matter! Let's blow it up!!" he laughed
evilly.
"Wait! You can't just destroy make-believe land like that!" Lady
Elaine said in her annoying little voice, "You need someone who knows
the realm."
"And what could a pitiful big nosed puppet possibly have to offer to
the greatest force in the galaxy?" Zurg questioned the puppet.
"Ahhhh, nothing?" Lady Elaine said fearing she would be blasted, "Oh
but I do have Boomerang-toomerang-zoomerang!" she said whipping out
her magical boomerang, "It holds powers."
"Yeah so does this!" Zurg pulled out his disintegrator ray, "I call
it Big Martha! Would you like to see a demonstration?"
"Ooh looks simply evil! Yes Zurg I would like to see if it could
possibly stand up to Boomerang-toomerang-zoomerang!" she twirled the
boomerang again.
"OK here goes!" Zurg blasted Lady Elaine into a smolder.
"You win," she coughed up a huff of smoke and fell backwards.
All the other resident puppets came to see what was going on, "Hey
you can't do that!" Prince Tuesday said in his high nasally
voice, "It's not nice!"
"Oh it's not nice is it?!" Zurg said aiming his ray at the
castle, "Well then how about this!" he fired, "Wanna be my
neighbor!?" he blasted X the owl's tree down, "WANNA BE MY
NEIGHBOR!??!!" Zurg continued blasting everything in make-believe
land until there was nothing left to be his neighbor. After
everything was demolished Zurg blew the smoke away from the barrel of
his gun, "Please, don't be my neighbor." He pulled out a flag from
behind his cape that had a big Z on it and stuck it in the ground
where the castle once stood, "I know declare this, Planet Z make-
believe land West!"
The Theme song played on as the camera zoomed out, "It's such a good
feeling, to know your not alive. It's such a happy feeling to know
your fried. And when I wake up ready to say, I think I'll conquer a
planet today," snap snap, "It's such a good feeling, it's such a
happy feeling to know that, I won't come back. And when the day is
through, I wont hear any whining from you And you'll have things
you'll want to complain about, I Don't Want To hear
it!!"
THE END
That is until Sesame Street needs a replacement.
done a year or two ago too
trademark of the PBS broadcast network, and WTTW Chanel 11 Chicago.
Buzz Lightyear of Star Command is a trademark of Disney and Pixar.)
_____________________________________________________
Mr. Zurg's Neighborhood.
The theme song music for the beloved children's show plays as we zoom
into Mr. Roger's house, but who comes through the door is not the
beloved old man that we grew up with, but the Evil Emperor Zurg.
"I never wanted to have a neighbor, just like you. I never what to
live in a neighborhood with you, so.
Let's make the worst of this beautifully evil day, since were forced to
be put together we might as well say...
Please don't be mine, I'm begging you not to be mine, don't you EVER
be my neighbor!" Zurg sang the song, adding his own "special" twist
to it.
"Hello kiddies, I know you were expecting Mr. Rogers, but he called
in sick today. But don't worry, Mr. Zurg is here. I'm sure we'll have
loads of fun." he cringed at the thought of having fun, "Oh gosh no."
Zurg walked over the closet where Mr. Rogers kept his sweaters. He
opened it and looked at them, "Eww yuck! They don't expect me to wear
these do they?" he closed the closet disgusted, "I don't think so,
that would be beneath me. My emperor robes are just fine." he turned
around to the camera and clasped his hands together nicely, "Sorry,
no tacky sweaters today kiddies. Your going to see high quality new-
tech fashion on this show. Oh don't moan at me!" Zurg walked on into
the kitchen like the script said to do so he could feed the fish and
play with the little figurines on make-believe land. The fish tank
for this episode wasn't filled with friendly little gold fish, but
with man eating parana.
"Lets feed Mr. Zurg's pets shall we?" Zurg lifted a big ham over the
fish tank and dropped it in. The paranas started swirling around in
the tank splashing water everywhere, "Aren't they just lovely?" He
moved on and took the little toys off the shelve and set them on the
kitchen table. "Now what are these stupid things?" he took one clawed
hand and whipped them clear off the table, they crashed to the
floor. "Don't even shoot real lasers for crying out loud."
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, "Now who in the great
galaxies is that!" Zurg said getting up from the table and marching
angerly to the front door, "Don't they know I'm trying to make a show
here!?"
"Zurg," the director called from off camera, "It's Mr. McGrubby, the
mail man."
"Oh yes! Mr. McGrubby!" Zurg said, "How could I forget. Silly me."
Zurg opened the door and there was a grub in Mr. McFealies mail man
uniform and glasses, he even had a fake little white mustache, "Why
look who came to visit kiddies, it's Mr. McGrubby. He must have a
special package for us today."
"Speedy delivery, speedy delivery!" the little grub said as he handed
Zurg a video tape.
"Well not speedy enough! You were supposed to be here over two
minuets ago!" Zurg took out his ray gun and fired at the grub. It ran
out of the door screaming, "Can you believe that? Two minuets! What's
with the postal system these days?" he shook his head
disappointedly. "Let that be a very important lesson to you kids,
never send anything via the US mail," he held the tape in his
hand, "Let's watch the tape shall we?" he popped the tape into the
picture -picture screen. The video played, it was a tape of Zurg
going to an ammunition factory.
"Hello littel children today we are going to learn about bombs and
other high explosives. Can you show us around?" he asked the person
in charge of the place.
"Why sure Mr. Zurg, here we make all kinds of nuclear weapons for the
government and anyone else with a couple extra millions to spend."
the little guy who was in charge said. And the tape went on like this
and showed Zurg how to make weapons and what could be done with them,
like blow up little countries.
"Fascinating!" Zurg said happily, "Wrap mine up and send it to the
land of make-believe!" Zurg ordered. The tape turned off.
"Well wasn't that fun? Now it's time to travel to the land of make-
believe, where is that blasted trolley?" Zurg got his answer as
Trolley chugged down the tracks, Zurg looked at it oddly. He picked
Trolley up off the tracks and held it to his face, "Now how do they
expect ME to fit inside this dinky thing?" Zurg questioned puzzled.
Zurg set Trolley back down and it tooted and rolled on, "Now don't
you toot at me..." Zurg all of a sudden arrived in the land of make-
believe as Trolley chugged through the tunnel. Zurg looked around
confused, "Now how did I.. no matter! Let's blow it up!!" he laughed
evilly.
"Wait! You can't just destroy make-believe land like that!" Lady
Elaine said in her annoying little voice, "You need someone who knows
the realm."
"And what could a pitiful big nosed puppet possibly have to offer to
the greatest force in the galaxy?" Zurg questioned the puppet.
"Ahhhh, nothing?" Lady Elaine said fearing she would be blasted, "Oh
but I do have Boomerang-toomerang-zoomerang!" she said whipping out
her magical boomerang, "It holds powers."
"Yeah so does this!" Zurg pulled out his disintegrator ray, "I call
it Big Martha! Would you like to see a demonstration?"
"Ooh looks simply evil! Yes Zurg I would like to see if it could
possibly stand up to Boomerang-toomerang-zoomerang!" she twirled the
boomerang again.
"OK here goes!" Zurg blasted Lady Elaine into a smolder.
"You win," she coughed up a huff of smoke and fell backwards.
All the other resident puppets came to see what was going on, "Hey
you can't do that!" Prince Tuesday said in his high nasally
voice, "It's not nice!"
"Oh it's not nice is it?!" Zurg said aiming his ray at the
castle, "Well then how about this!" he fired, "Wanna be my
neighbor!?" he blasted X the owl's tree down, "WANNA BE MY
NEIGHBOR!??!!" Zurg continued blasting everything in make-believe
land until there was nothing left to be his neighbor. After
everything was demolished Zurg blew the smoke away from the barrel of
his gun, "Please, don't be my neighbor." He pulled out a flag from
behind his cape that had a big Z on it and stuck it in the ground
where the castle once stood, "I know declare this, Planet Z make-
believe land West!"
The Theme song played on as the camera zoomed out, "It's such a good
feeling, to know your not alive. It's such a happy feeling to know
your fried. And when I wake up ready to say, I think I'll conquer a
planet today," snap snap, "It's such a good feeling, it's such a
happy feeling to know that, I won't come back. And when the day is
through, I wont hear any whining from you And you'll have things
you'll want to complain about, I Don't Want To hear
it!!"
THE END
That is until Sesame Street needs a replacement.
done a year or two ago too